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Posts Tagged ‘aspen’

I’m With Stupid – February 3, 2017

PERSONAL DISPUTES WE SHOULD CARE NOTHING ABOUT
by Todd Hartley

For the most part, in penning this column each week, I try not to write about local issues. The title is “I’m With Stupid,” after all, so I don’t want anyone I know to feel guilty by association should their name or cause appear in some rant of mine. This week, however, the real world intruded upon Aspen’s little bubble of unreality, so the topic of discussion will concern a business about a block from the center of downtown.

For those unfamiliar with the story, here’s what happened: A woman brought some memorabilia from Donald Trump’s inauguration to Suitable for Framing to have the stuff framed and the owner said she couldn’t fulfill the woman’s request. This much everyone agrees upon. What happened next is unclear. Read the rest of this entry →

03

02 2017

I’m With Stupid – September 30, 2016

GIVE ME A HOME WHERE A MOUSE COULDN’T ROAM
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallHere in Aspen, where the billionaires roam and the dowered and the affluent play, we take great pride in the prices of our homes. Why, just now I did a search to see how much a one-bedroom apartment in town would cost and found a pied-a-terre “within walking/biking distance” to downtown for $895,000. I was aghast at how low the price was.

Honestly, Aspen, the place was on the river. Back in the day that fact alone would have made it worth a million. What have we become? Read the rest of this entry →

30

09 2016

I’m With Stupid – July 29, 2016

I CAN SAVE ASPEN $494,000 RIGHT NOW
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallWhen putting my stupidity to words each week, I usually try to avoid talking about local subjects, lest I hurt people’s feelings. Sadly, however, this week I feel compelled to stay local, and it might end up hurting the feelings of some friends of mine. But something really stupid just happened in Aspen, and I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t note it.

I’ll explain the situation as if I were spelling it out for someone who’s never been here: There are essentially two roads connecting Aspen to the outside world. The first is Power Plant Road, a tortuous trek through the small canyon of Castle Creek that is accessed via a stop-and-go, one-block-at-a-time zigzag through Aspen’s tony West End. Read the rest of this entry →

29

07 2016

I’m With Stupid – July 18, 2016

TO HELL YOU RIDE, TO HEAVEN YOU GO
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallTo my way of thinking, which is usually wrong, there is a hierarchy of mountain towns in Colorado based on how mountain-y they really are. And by mountain-y, I mean scenic, authentic and a pain in the ass to get to.

By this measure, a place like Vail — with its resort feel, interstate highway and weekend hordes — scores quite low, while a place like Crested Butte — quaint, frigid and 30 miles from Gunnison — scores rather high. Aspen, historic and scenic but burdened with things like an airport, culture and a mostly four-lane highway, scores somewhere in the middle.  Read the rest of this entry →

22

07 2016

I’m With Stupid – July 1, 2016

HERE’S AN ASPEN IDEA: SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallHey, Aspen — where the world’s elite are, at this very moment, convening for the annual Aspen Ideas Festival — I’ve got a favor to ask after all my years of faithful stupid. I’m calling on those of you who have Ideas Fest passes, from the elite all the way down to my friends, to perform a tiny act of civil disobedience for me.

If you’re reading this early enough today, go to the Hotel Jerome ballroom at 7:45 a.m. for a breakfast talk called “Who Should Safeguard Our Data?” Then all you have to do is stand at the back of the room and talk loudly among yourselves. That’s it. Just pick out a friend and start yammering away and don’t let up until breakfast is done.  Read the rest of this entry →

01

07 2016

I’m With Stupid – February 19, 2016

CAUTION: WATCH OUT FOR FALLING STUPID
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallYou know how they have those signs along roads that tell you to watch out for falling rocks? You know how you always ignore them? Well, there’s a place near where I live where you really do have to watch out, and it claimed another vehicular victim recently.

It’s called Glenwood Canyon, specifically the area around the Hanging Lake Rest Area, and every couple of years a big boulder or two will fall from the canyon wall onto Interstate 70. It happened again the other day, with the boulder taking out the trailer of a semi. Thankfully, the driver was unharmed, Read the rest of this entry →

19

02 2016

I’m With Stupid – December 11, 2015

URINE PLAZA AND THE LOTTERY DEATH SENTENCE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallLiving in a small town in the mountains, as I do, I suppose I was less aware of the homelessness problem in America than I should have been. I mean, there are street corners around here where you expect to see panhandlers every day, but that’s about it. They tell me homelessness is a problem in our little valley, but it’s really not in your face that much.

Let me put it this way: Living here has rendered me ill-prepared for what I saw in San Francisco when I got off the Muni at the Civic Center stop at 6 p.m. a couple of weeks ago and walked upstairs to U.N. Plaza.

Holy tap-dancin’ platypus, Batman! Read the rest of this entry →

11

12 2015

I’m WWith Stupid – August 21, 2015

HELP! I’M BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN A VAN
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI hope this all comes out OK, because I’m writing it in the dark in the back of the van in which I’m currently imprisoned. I want to tell the truth about my play while I still have time. God knows what these monsters plan to do with me when my usefulness to them has run out.

Some of you may remember that last week I wrote about becoming a first-time playwright. That part was true. But the play you will see this weekend and next weekend on the grounds of the former Aspen Art Museum is not the play I wrote. Read the rest of this entry →

21

08 2015

I’m With Stupid – August 14, 2015

WHY I’M HOPING TO BREAK A LEG NEXT WEEK
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallIn my life, I’ve written four plays. Of those, only one — my fifth-grade class’s Christmas pageant — has ever been produced, and I have to admit it wasn’t very good.

I was told by my teacher that I had to write it, play Father Christmas and make sure everyone else got a role that allowed them to present their report on Christmas in another country. This made it difficult to develop characters and a storyline, and as a result I felt the play came off as trite and juvenile — or at least I felt that way in fifth grade. Read the rest of this entry →

14

08 2015

I’m With Stupid – July 31, 2015

GIVING IT WHAT ITS AWFUL BEHAVIOR DESERVES
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI am not, by nature, a violent person. I don’t hunt, I haven’t been in a fight that didn’t involve hockey since seventh grade and I don’t, under ordinary circumstances, think that fisticuffs or other pugilistic measures solve any problems. Having said that, however, I do feel that Aspen could benefit from having a mafia.

Now, before you jump all over me for supporting organized crime, I’d like to make it clear that I’m not. When I say “mafia,” I’m not referring to the mob. I’m not in favor of racketeering, trafficking in illegal drugs, loansharking or strong-arming people into paying for “protection services.” Read the rest of this entry →

31

07 2015


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