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Posts Tagged ‘basalt’

I’m With Stupid – November 4, 2016

I’VE NEVER BEEN SO EAGER FOR A WEDNESDAY
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallCan you see it? There, just up ahead. It’s … it’s … it’s the light at the end of the tunnel! Hallelujah! We’re saved! It’s almost over!

Just smell that fresh air wafting here from next week, promising happier times when Election Day will be a thing of the past and we won’t have to breathe the putrid fumes of Campaign 2016 anymore. I’m giddy just thinking about it.

Imagine, for a second, that you’re someone from a random, foreign country and you’ve been following American politics from afar all summer and fall. Think about what you’ve been witnessing. Read the rest of this entry →

04

11 2016

I’m With Stupid – August 5, 2016

TIME TO GROW THICKER SKINS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI know I shouldn’t be writing this, and you’ll understand why in a second, but my problem is and has always been that I can’t keep my big mouth shut. So I’m not going to keep it shut this time. My conscience is 100 percent clear in this matter and there’s not much else I can do about it, so damn the consequences.

However, since I know nothing about libel laws, I won’t call out my former employer by name. And I won’t name the two people who I think broke the law, but they know who they are, and if there’s any justice, they’ll get fired for something soon.

Here’s the scenario, and I’ll keep as strictly to the facts as I can so you can decide for yourself what happened: Read the rest of this entry →

05

08 2016

I’m With Stupid – April 17, 2015

BASALT TRIES TO PUTT THE BALL IN THE CLOWN’S MOUTH
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallFor those of you who don’t live in this area, here’s the scoop: There was a small trailer park on prime riverfront acreage in downtown Basalt, but it all sat in the flood plain of the Roaring Fork River. Back when it used to snow, we’d hear every spring that the residents of the trailer park were in mortal danger from rising water and needed to be evacuated immediately, but each spring came and went and the portended floods never seemed to materialize.

Eventually, though, Basalt’s prophesies of doom won out. The residents were evacuated and compensated and the trailer park was razed Read the rest of this entry →

17

04 2015

I’m With Stupid – November 14, 2014

MY NEIGHBOR FRED, THE REALLY GOOD DANCER
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallThe other night my wife came home from a gala event she’d attended with a friend, and — as it was the social event of the season here in Basalt — she proceeded to rattle off a list of the who’s-who she’d seen to me, who hadn’t been able to attend and was a little bitter about it. I normally wouldn’t care that much, since galas aren’t really my thing, but from what I understand it was all-you-can-eat.

My wife told me how one couple we know danced the night away, and then she said, “Fred’s a really good dancer,” and I chuckled a little inside. Read the rest of this entry →

14

11 2014

I’m With Stupid – August 17, 2012

THE ORGANIC REINCARNATION OF PROUD OZYMANDIAS
by Todd Hartley

I live in a small mountain town – population 3,836 – but it’s not that small. It’s part of a larger valley with tourist destinations at both ends and a decent-sized population that likes to think of ourselves as somewhat cosmopolitan. Thus it is with great fanfare that we recently welcomed to the valley our very own Whole Foods Market.

When I tell you the anticipation had been building for years, I am absolutely not kidding. This project has been on the books since wooly mammoths roamed our valley. Read the rest of this entry →

17

08 2012

I’m With Stupid – November 11, 2011

RAMS, TOUCHING RAMS, REACHING OUT, TOUCHING EWES
by Todd Hartley

Dudes, I seriously just almost got into a fight with a herd of bighorn sheep. Seriously. It was freaking awesome. I mean, I’m glad it didn’t come to blows and all. They would have butted the crap out of me and my car, I’m sure, but it was pretty sweet messing with them anyway. I just wish my boy could have been there with me.

Let me start at the beginning. I live in the scenic mountain hamlet of Basalt, Colo., which lies at the junction of the Roaring Fork and Fryingpan rivers. Read the rest of this entry →

11

11 2011

I’m With Stupid – July 1, 2011

LIBERAL FASCISM IS BASALT’S NEW BAG
by Todd Hartley

If you’ve ever wondered why conservatives hate liberals so much, you need look no further than an article that ran in The Aspen Times on June 29 to find part of your answer. The story, which ran on the front page, concerned the Basalt Town Council and a decision by that group to explore the idea of “charging a small fee for use of disposable paper and plastic bags in the town’s two grocery stores.”

The council’s idea, essentially, is to enact an ordinance requiring shoppers to pay 20 cents for each disposable bag they require for their groceries. Read the rest of this entry →

01

07 2011


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