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Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

I’m With Stupid – October 28, 2016

TAKE THE DAILY NOT-GONNA-KILL-ANYONE PLEDGE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallThe other day I was rolling through Facebook, unfollowing anyone who posted more than once a day or took a selfie, and I came across a post that included a video and a hyperbolic proclamation along the lines of: “If everyone watched this one-minute film, there would be no war.”

The still shot from the video featured a smiling orangutan with one arm thrown over the shoulders of a pointer dog. I have a half-pointer, I’m a sucker for orangutans, and I’ve been trying to quit war for some time now, so I clicked on the arrow by the orangutan’s armpit and watched.  Read the rest of this entry →

28

10 2016

I’m With Stupid – April 15, 2016

THE 4,900 PERCENT HUMAN MEDICAL MARKUP
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallMy little girl had surgery a couple of Tuesdays ago. Pretty major surgery, too. Over the past year or so, she’d developed a large lump near the base of her spine. Doctors did a biopsy and determined that it was cancerous, so the other week, they performed an operation to remove the tumor.

Our doctor said it was locally invasive but unlikely to spread to the rest of the body too quickly if we wanted to wait, but we were sure; we wanted that thing out of there right away. So the doctor recommended a new procedure that involved making a large incision and removing most of the tumor (“shelling it out,” as he said) and then placing chemotherapy beads under the skin to fight the remaining cancerous tissue.  Read the rest of this entry →

15

04 2016

I’m With Stupid – January 16, 2015

BOW WOW WOW YIPPIE YO YIPPIE YAY, AMEN
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallSometimes, the answer is right in front of you and you don’t even realize it. Take, for example, the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office in Clearwater, Florida. For the past few months, people in the office have been walking on two new rugs bearing the department’s emblem, and it wasn’t until last week that someone finally noticed that instead of reading “In God we trust,” like they were supposed to, the emblems on the rugs read, “In dog we trust.”

I, for one, think that is the greatest thing ever, Read the rest of this entry →

16

01 2015

I’m With Stupid – June 27, 2014

THE CUTEST, SCARIEST THING YOU EVER DID SEE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallMy son and I got to see a family of skunks while walking along the Roaring Fork River the other day. There was a mother and four little ones about the size of kittens, and they were marching in a line through the underbrush with their tails sticking straight up in the air. It would have been the cutest thing ever, except that we had our two dogs with us, and our dogs love to chase little critters.

As you might expect, I was terrified. I screamed for the dogs to come to me, but they rarely listen and once again failed to do so, and both made a beeline for the skunks, seemingly intent on giving chase. Read the rest of this entry →

27

06 2014

I’m With Stupid – May 31, 2013

I KNOW IT WAS YOU, FIDO. YOU BROKE MY HEART
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallFor Memorial Day weekend, as we’ve done the past few years, my wife, my son, my dog and I headed to Utah to go camping with some friends. The difference this year was that we had to make room for our newest family member, a rambunctious mix of German shorthaired pointer, Australian shepherd and border collie who is not yet the well-behaved pooch and loyal companion that her older sister is.

In addition to three people, a large dog and a hyperactive, 8-month-old puppy, here’s what we had in our Toyota Highlander: Read the rest of this entry →

31

05 2013

I’m With Stupid – March 29, 2013

BRECKENRIDGE SKIER BOWLING AND TELLURIDE TIME
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallMy son’s school was on spring break this week, so we did what any proper ski-town family is supposed to do for vacation and visited other ski towns. This might seem counterintuitive to people who live in, say, factory towns, as they would probably never consider vacationing in similar burgs, but the skiing addiction mandates that when it’s time to take a break from skiing, you go ski somewhere else.

Our first stop was Breckenridge, which I last skied about 23 years ago. Read the rest of this entry →

29

03 2013

I’m With Stupid – February 24, 2012

THE MORE MUTT THE MERRIER
by Todd Hartley

Last week, as some of you may remember, we here at I’m With Stupid tackled the story of Seamus, the Irish setter that Mitt Romney stuck in a cage on the roof of the family car for a 12-hour drive to Canada in 1983. We’re not going to talk about that again, but as long as we’re on the subject of dogs, we have a bone to pick (get it?) with the Westminster Kennel Club, the hoity-toity organization that crowned a Pekingese top dog at its 2012 show at Madison Square Garden a couple of weeks ago.

At issue is the WKC’s decision  to drop Pedigree dog food as a sponsor of its signature event after 24 years. Why? Read the rest of this entry →

24

02 2012

I’m With Stupid – February 17, 2012

A STEAMING PILE OF DOG DOO WITH A SIDE OF ROMNEY
by Todd Hartley

I’ve always thought Mitt Romney’s name sounds like a way in which you would order wiener schnitzel at a German restaurant – “Can I get mine mitt romney? Danke schoen!” – as if romney were a sort of smelly purple cabbage that came on the side. So I actually went to the trouble of looking up what Mitt Romney means in German. Turns out it means Mitt Romney, but mit rommé, which is awfully close, means something like “with rummy,” as in the card game rummy. Read the rest of this entry →

17

02 2012

On dog scootering and a dog gone

I always wondered why they call them the “dog days” of summer, particularly back when I didn’t have a dog. If it has something to do with lying around being lazy and hot, I defy you to find a dog who’s been doing more lying around panting and sweating in the heat than me. You couldn’t do it, because dogs can’t even sweat. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry for them because they breathe harder in July?

I do, though, finally have my own definition of the dog days of summer, based on two events in the last week that reminded me of why I’ve always considered dogs the one true sign that God might actually love us. Read the rest of this entry →

16

07 2010

I sense a lucky four-pawed Clover

A few years ago, if you had mentioned a pet psychic or animal communicator, as they are sometimes called, mine would have been among the loudest voices calling you a gullible fool. These people, who claim they can use their minds to sense what pets are feeling, are quite obviously charlatans, I would have said. Psychics, in my cynical view, are nothing but con artists, pet psychics even more so.

But then something happened that made me rethink my position. Read the rest of this entry →

21

08 2009


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