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Posts Tagged ‘donald trump’

I’m With Stupid – February 17, 2017

LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS AT YOU
by Todd Hartley

At the urging of my mother, who responded to last week’s column with, “I liked it better when you were less political and more funny,” I’m going to try to avoid talking about politics this week, and I will try to be funnier. That could be hard, though, because A) I can’t get any funnier, and B) right now, politics is what’s funny.

Oh, I know I should be concerned and all that. I know I’m supposed to be worried about the direction our country is headed and blah, blah, blah, but I just can’t help but find all of this a little hysterical. Maybe I’m laughing to keep from crying, or maybe I’ve gone off the deep end, but this stuff is really funny to me. Read the rest of this entry →

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02 2017

I’m With Stupid – February 10, 2017

ONE OF MY STATE’S SENATORS ISN’T GOOD AT SENATING
by Todd Hartley

We just got an abject, though illuminating, lesson in party politics here in Colorado courtesy of our two U.S. senators, Cory Gardner and Michael Bennet, with regards to the Senate confirmation of Michigan billionaire Betsy DeVos as secretary of education.

I mean, I guess everyone in America got the lesson, seeing as how the Senate split 50-50, with 50 Republican senators voting in favor of confirming DeVos, and all 48 Democrats and two Republicans, both women, voting against it. But I think the party divide was more amplified here in the Rocky Mountain State. Read the rest of this entry →

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02 2017

I’m With Stupid – February 3, 2017

PERSONAL DISPUTES WE SHOULD CARE NOTHING ABOUT
by Todd Hartley

For the most part, in penning this column each week, I try not to write about local issues. The title is “I’m With Stupid,” after all, so I don’t want anyone I know to feel guilty by association should their name or cause appear in some rant of mine. This week, however, the real world intruded upon Aspen’s little bubble of unreality, so the topic of discussion will concern a business about a block from the center of downtown.

For those unfamiliar with the story, here’s what happened: A woman brought some memorabilia from Donald Trump’s inauguration to Suitable for Framing to have the stuff framed and the owner said she couldn’t fulfill the woman’s request. This much everyone agrees upon. What happened next is unclear. Read the rest of this entry →

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02 2017

I’m With Stupid – December 23, 2016

HOW THE TRUMP STOLE CHRISTMAS
by Todd Hartley

Every Who in Creation had been dreading Xmas
From Lapps in reindeer land to mothers in Texmas
The crass commercialism! The prices of gifts!
The torture of airports and crowded ski lifts!
Whatever their reasons, they’d had quite enough
And between 60 zillion they raised such a huff
That it built up as vapor, a voluminous cloud
Of everyone’s issues, the whole madding crowd
And that cloud headed northward past Juneau and Nome
To out where the musk ox and caribou roam Read the rest of this entry →

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12 2016

I’m With Stupid – December 16, 2016

YOU SUCK, BUT THE LOVE GROUP LOVES YOU ANYWAY
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallThere’s nothing worse about Donald Trump, I feel, than his penchant for lashing out at people with his tweets. It’s so pathetic. Seriously, did we elect a mean girl for president? All hail the cyberbully-in-chief.

Bad as that is, though, what’s much, much worse is how Trump supporters, or people pretending to be Trump supporters, then attack those people online and over the phone and threaten to rape them or kill their families. If you’ve ever done that, even as what you thought was a joke, you’re sick and you need help. Read the rest of this entry →

16

12 2016

I’m With Stupid – November 18, 2016

ONCE-PROUD NATION TORN ABOUT BY BEAVERS AND BIRDS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI know things seem tough right now, America. I know it feels like we’ve been torn in two and we’re at war with ourselves. I know a lot of wimpy-ass college kids and professors need time off from classes to deal with their hurt feelings, and I know that rioting and protests are happening all over the place. I admit: It’s bad. But things could be worse: We could be Canada.

That’s right: Canada, that supposedly idyllic place you wish you could move to right now. You may not know this, America, since you’ve been so hung up on your own problems lately, but our neighbor to the north also has been a house divided for half a decade now, wracked by partisan squabbling, heated disagreement and all sorts of infighting. Read the rest of this entry →

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11 2016

I’m With Stupid – November 11, 2016

THE THINKER WHO THUNK THE UNTHINKABLE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallDid you ever have one of those moments where you wondered if everything really was just a figment of your imagination? Well, it happens to me a lot, and I finally realized why. It’s because, apparently, everything is just a figment of my imagination. Nothing else could explain what happened Tuesday night.

No, the only way Donald Trump could possibly be elected president of the United States of America would be if I dreamt it. So I think all you imaginary readers need to give me some credit. I did some pretty creative dreaming on this one, didn’t I? Read the rest of this entry →

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11 2016

I’m With Stupid – November 4, 2016

I’VE NEVER BEEN SO EAGER FOR A WEDNESDAY
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallCan you see it? There, just up ahead. It’s … it’s … it’s the light at the end of the tunnel! Hallelujah! We’re saved! It’s almost over!

Just smell that fresh air wafting here from next week, promising happier times when Election Day will be a thing of the past and we won’t have to breathe the putrid fumes of Campaign 2016 anymore. I’m giddy just thinking about it.

Imagine, for a second, that you’re someone from a random, foreign country and you’ve been following American politics from afar all summer and fall. Think about what you’ve been witnessing. Read the rest of this entry →

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11 2016

I’m With Stupid – June 24, 2016

LIKE A PHOENIX RISING FROM TRUMP’S HAIR
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallA couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out with a friend of mine who sometimes works for and is a friend of Hillary Clinton. My friend has nothing but good things to say about the woman who, barring something unexpected, will be the Democratic Party’s nominee for president, and that puts me in a bit of a bind.

You see, I was planning on writing a few columns based on the whole “None of the Above” angle in Clinton’s upcoming battle with Donald Trump. I was going to do a whole “Brewster’s Millions” comparison, make a big stink out of not voting and explain why I dislike both candidates despite not knowing them or reading up on their positions.  Read the rest of this entry →

24

06 2016

I’m With Stupid – June 10, 2016

GETTING EXACTLY THE POLITICIANS WE IDIOTS DESERVE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallReally, Republicans and Democrats? This is the election you’re going to give us? Hillary Clinton versus Donald Trump? The very embodiment of corporate-driven politics as usual versus Donald freaking Trump? How the hell did you let this happen? How did you asses and elephants rig the system so completely that this is what we’re stuck with?

I’d implore you to stop this nonsense before it’s too late, but I fear it’s already too late, as more and more of your Republican so-called leaders are giving Trump their seal of approval every day.  Read the rest of this entry →

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06 2016


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