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Posts Tagged ‘donald trump’

I’m With Stupid – April 22, 1016

ARBY’S ASSAULT A SIGN OF NO-BACON APOCALYPSE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallSo with the New York primaries over and the resounding victories for both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, it’s looking more and more as if that will be our choice for president: Trump or Clinton. Looked at in that light, I guess what happened in Oklahoma makes perfect sense. In fact, it almost seems inevitable.

But before I go any further, I want to take one last opportunity to implore you before it’s too late: Please, now, while there’s still time, nominate John Kasich and Bernie Sanders. The future of the human race depends on it.  Read the rest of this entry →

22

04 2016

I’m With Stupid – April 1, 2016

THE REAL PUPPET MASTERS BEHIND DONALD TRUMP
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI think, on this April Fools’ Day, that I have finally figured out the prank, which I daresay is one of the biggest pranks ever pulled on anyone anywhere. I’ve finally seen through the shenanigans and dissected the whole ridiculousness that is the 2016 Republican primary. It came to me just now, but I’m not sure why I didn’t get it a couple of months ago.

Back in early February, my son and I went to see my parents in Florida. At the end of the week, my father, a dying breed of rational conservative, and I talked a little politics as he drove us to the airport. We agreed that Donald Trump and Ted Cruz were completely unelectable in a general election, but just before we pulled up at the curb, my father said, “What about John Kasich?”  Read the rest of this entry →

01

04 2016

I’m With Stupid – March 25, 2016

HELP GIVE THIS BLOATED RED TUB A NAME
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI had a conversation recently with an old buddy of mine, a professional stand-up comedian, and we both agreed that this whole Donald Trump thing is really, really funny. I mean, yeah, it might lead to the end of the world as we know it if he somehow became president, but for now, his candidacy and what it’s doing to the Republican Party are freaking hysterical.

I think it just goes to show you that if you announce that you’re going to base a decision on popular opinion, and your opinion isn’t popular, you won’t get to make the decision you were hoping to make. There’s actually a great parallel going on right now over in jolly old England that you might get a kick out of. Read the rest of this entry →

25

03 2016

I’m With Stupid – December 18, 2015

THE MANCHURIAN TRUMPIDATE AND HIS BIG HAIR SECRET
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI have to admit, I haven’t watched any of the Republican presidential debates yet, I don’t follow the polls and I’ve never visited any of the candidates’ websites to learn their positions on the issues, so I honestly don’t know much about what’s going on with the upcoming primaries. I heard some real estate developer and reality-TV star was leading the pack, but that sounded like a joke to me.

Given my lack of knowledge about all that, I hope you’ll forgive me when I ask: Who is this Donald Trump fellow with the wacky hair whose name and face I can’t seem to avoid even when I’m doing everything I can to avoid them? Read the rest of this entry →

18

12 2015

I’m With Stupid – July 17, 2015

WHY MY CALLOUS INDIFFERENCE IS A GOOD THING
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallIt doesn’t happen very often, but every now and then I’ll write a column about a grown-up subject that will touch some nerves and generate more than its fair share of responses. Last week, evidently, was one of those times. The subject of the column is immaterial; the point is that I ruffled some feathers and upset some people, and I’d like to speak to them personally this week.

Hi, guys and gals. How’s it going?

With regard to your hurt feelings, I’m going to say something that maybe people should have been saying to you for a few years now. Read the rest of this entry →

17

07 2015

I’m With Stupid – November 23, 2012

NOVEMBER OFFICIALLY DECLARED NATIONAL JACKASS MONTH
by Todd Hartley 

Boy, this has been a hell of a month for jackasses, hasn’t it?

(At this point, I imagine you’re assuming this is going to be a column about Donald Trump and Karl Rove, but that’s not the case. I mean, don’t get me wrong; Trump and Rove have certainly distinguished themselves in the annals of braying idiocy this November, but I’m talking about actual donkeys, not buffoonish publicity whores and shameless squanderers of other people’s fortunes.) Read the rest of this entry →

23

11 2012

I’m With Stupid – May 20, 2011

PLANKING THE WALK AND OTHER DUMB PLACES
by Todd Hartley

As an American, I tend to feel rather proprietary when it comes to the development and dissemination of stupid trends. It’s America, after all, that has given us such pinnacles of idiocy as the Hummer H2, teenage vampire movies, Paris Hilton, Perez Hilton, country line dancing, New Kids on the Block, pants worn around one’s thighs with one’s underwear hanging out, Lindsay Lohan, etc., etc. In short, we’re not just dumb; we’re the world leader in dumb, and we’re damn proud of it.

Mind you, I’m not saying that every moronic trend originates in the U.S. Japan has certainly had its share of success with things like Pokemon, bad animation and slaughtering dolphins, Read the rest of this entry →

20

05 2011


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