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Posts Tagged ‘dr. seuss’

I’m With Stupid – December 23, 2016

HOW THE TRUMP STOLE CHRISTMAS
by Todd Hartley

Every Who in Creation had been dreading Xmas
From Lapps in reindeer land to mothers in Texmas
The crass commercialism! The prices of gifts!
The torture of airports and crowded ski lifts!
Whatever their reasons, they’d had quite enough
And between 60 zillion they raised such a huff
That it built up as vapor, a voluminous cloud
Of everyone’s issues, the whole madding crowd
And that cloud headed northward past Juneau and Nome
To out where the musk ox and caribou roam Read the rest of this entry →

23

12 2016

In Aspen it would be $3,500 a month

So you think you’ve been hit hard by the global recession, eh? Two years ago you lived in a 20,000-square-foot mansion, but the bank foreclosed on you, and now you’re sharing a trailer with a family of toothless rednecks? Well, boo-friggin’-hoo. Cry me a river, Alice. You have no idea how good you’ve got it.

Still, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for you, so, in an effort to cheer you up about the fact that your living situation has gone down the toilet, I’m going to point out to you how much worse things could be. It’ll be a little like one of my favorite childhood books: Dr. Seuss’s “Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?” Read the rest of this entry →

05

02 2010


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