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Posts Tagged ‘kansas’

I’m With Stupid – October 2, 2015

ZOMBIE PREPAREDNESS ISN’T REALLY A JOKE IN KANSAS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallYou know how sometimes things start off as a joke but then over time people start to take them seriously? (Just for the record: No, I am not referring to any 2016 Republican presidential candidates, although I easily could be.)

One of the best examples I can think of is the “five-second rule.” I always assumed that when people dropped food on the floor, picked it up, declared, “five-second rule!” and then ate the food, they were just kidding around. But when, years later, scientists had to release studies proving that germs could get on food in less than five seconds, Read the rest of this entry →

02

10 2015

I’m With Stupid – June 14, 2013

DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI’m not sure if you’ve heard, but the big news here in Colorado is that eight counties in the northeastern part of the state want to split off and form their own state. That might seem shocking and a little upsetting, but I think it’s important to remember that most of us in the other parts of Colorado don’t really care.

The counties in question are Weld, Morgan, Logan, Sedgwick, Phillips, Washington, Yuma and Kit Carson. Collectively, they’re home to about 6.43 percent of Colorado’s population, an estimated 333,641 people. Of that number, 252,825 live in Weld County, many of them in the Boulder suburbs, which I would imagine probably want to stay part of Colorado. Read the rest of this entry →

14

06 2013

Hunting for giant wheat sharks in Kansas

Avid paleontology fans — and I know there are thousands of you reading this column right now — may have taken note of the discovery recently of what scientists are calling a fossilized jawbone fragment from a giant, prehistoric, clam-eating shark known as Ptychodus mortoni. The handful of you out there who aren’t avid paleontology fans might have missed this little news tidbit, but it’s something that I believe merits further discussion. Read the rest of this entry →

26

02 2010

Driving across America's fly-over country

You want to talk about stupid? At this very moment I’m sitting in bed at a friend’s house in Columbia, Mo., less than halfway through a 2,000-mile drive that will eventually take me from Basalt to Washington, D.C., to New Jersey and finally Connecticut.

Am I saying it’s stupid to drive across the country? Well, yes, but that’s not what’s making my particular trek so imbecilic. Read the rest of this entry →

24

07 2009

I can feel St. Emil's Fire burning in me

There are more than 10,000 saints recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, an astounding figure that works out to about 51 per country. Plus, you have to figure that there aren’t a lot of saints coming out of, say, China or Iran or any country with a “stan” in its name, so we can assume the saints-per-country ratio is even higher in places that actually have Catholics, right?

Yet somehow just two of those saints, Elizabeth Ann Seton and Katherine Drexel, were born on American soil. Only Drexel was born after the United States declared independence. Read the rest of this entry →

26

06 2009

You’re doing fine, Oklahoma

I’ve always sort of admired Oklahoma for having a realistic self-image. Whereas Kansas deludes itself with a slogan like, “Land of Ahhs,” Oklahoma has always been honest, telling us simply that “Oklahoma is OK.” Not great, not bad, but OK. I’ve never been to Oklahoma and have no immediate or long-term plans to rectify that situation, but I’m guessing that’s a fair appraisal of the Sooner State.

I have, however, been to Kansas, and as I drove for what seemed like thousands of miles through the flat, featureless wheat fields, I did not utter a single “ah” that wasn’t immediately followed by a vigorous “choo!” Kansas doesn’t exactly inspire that sort of enthusiasm. Read the rest of this entry →

01

05 2009


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