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Posts Tagged ‘lawsuits’

I’m With Stupid – October 24, 2014

LITIGIOUS SCUMBAGS DOING WHAT SCUMBAGS DO
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallIn case you’ve been wondering — what with all the other crap going on in the world today — whether the good old-fashioned American ethic of suing everybody over everything still exists, you’ll be happy to know (or maybe not) that it is alive and well. A perfect case in point is the lawsuit filed last week against Fox Television Studios by actor Frank Sivero.

In the suit, Sivero, who played a gangster named Frankie Carbone in the movie “Goodfellas,” alleges that “The Simpsons” stole his likeness for the character of Louie, a low-level mafia henchman who has appeared in 16 episodes of the show since 1991. Read the rest of this entry →

24

10 2014

I’m With Stupid – August 30, 2013

COME ON, BABY, LET’S SUE THE TWITS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallYou guys remember Chubby Checker, right? He’s the guy who first exhorted your grandparents to do “The Twist” way back in 1960. I’ve been doing a little research, and I’ve learned a few things about Mr. Checker in the past few days.

First of all, he’s apparently still alive, which must be a huge relief to his daughter, a friend of mine who lives in the Aspen area. Second, he’s not even really that old; he’ll be turning 72 in October, and he still performs live today. Third — and this is the most important part — he’s pretty ticked off right now. Read the rest of this entry →

30

08 2013

I’m With Stupid – July 5, 2013

WHEN CRYSTAL BALLS AND TAROT CARDS GO AWRY
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallA few years ago I paid a visit to a psychic, but only because when I say I “paid” a visit, I mean someone gave me a psychic reading as a gift. Psychics aren’t the sort of thing I would ever pay for myself. This is not because I’m a skeptic, mind you, but I already know everything, so there’s nothing new a clairvoyant could tell me.

I will give the psychic credit, though; she tried to tell me some new things. For instance, she told me my money woes would clear up in a few months and that I had a third child on the way soon. I found the latter prediction rather interesting since I only had one child at the time and have yet to father a second. Read the rest of this entry →

05

07 2013

I’m With Stupid – March 15, 2013

AND IRAN, IRAN SO FAR AWAY (FROM REALITY)
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallHow do you say “Go take a flying leap” in Farsi? I ask because I think that ought to be Hollywood’s official response to the Islamic Republic of Iran, which announced last week that it intended to sue Hollywood over films it deems detrimental to its international reputation. (I actually think Hollywood ought to use more colorful language than that, but since kids might read this, we’ll stick with something PG-rated.)

The latest film that Iranians are supposedly outraged about is “Argo,” which is based on the true story of six Americans who escaped from Iran in the aftermath of the 1979 hostage crisis. Read the rest of this entry →

15

03 2013

I’m With Stupid – May 4, 2012

SUING OVER NUTS AND THINGS THAT GO WITH THEM
by Todd Hartley

We all know that American society is far too litigious, right? I mean, hardly a day goes by that some imbecile doesn’t sue McDonald’s because they blame Big Macs for making them obese, and stories abound of prisoners suing states because they can’t get Count Chocula behind bars, or some such nonsense. But if you’ve ever wondered just how maddening things have gotten, two recent incidents are virtually guaranteed to get your blood boiling.

(Legal note: If your blood does, indeed, start boiling as a result of reading about said incidents, you may not sue me or the publication wherein you are reading this column. Read the rest of this entry →

04

05 2012

I’m With Stupid – August 26, 2011

GO AHEAD: HE PROBABLY WON’T EVEN KNOW IT’S GONE
by Todd Hartley 

Imagine going in to a hospital for a circumcision at the age of 60-something like Phillip Seaton, a truck driver from Kentucky, did back in 2007. That’d be a little weird, wouldn’t it? After six decades with your little friend, he’d suddenly be getting a new face, you’d probably have to refrain from sex or touching yourself for an uncomfortably long time as you healed, and someone would be mutilating your penis with a sharp object. I bet the idea would take some getting used to. Read the rest of this entry →

26

08 2011

I’m With Stupid – December 17, 2010

BAD PARENTS UNHAPPY ABOUT HAPPY MEALS
by Todd Hartley

I am, admittedly, not the best parent in the world. Oh, I try, but I’m lazy and not very bright, so sometimes things don’t work out exactly as planned. I frequently let my son stay up past his bedtime, and he can go many days between baths. I allow him to watch more TV than he should, and I still haven’t figured out how to get my son to eat healthy food. There is one thing I do know as a parent, though, and that’s this: If you want your child to be healthy, don’t make McDonald’s a staple of their diet. Read the rest of this entry →

17

12 2010


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