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Posts Tagged ‘medicine’

I’m With Stupid – April 26, 2013

WORMING THEIR WAY BACK INTO OUR HEARTS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI saw an article online the other day with the unlikely teaser, “Feeling ill? Swallow a worm.” As a dog owner, I’ve been conditioned to believe that worms are something you don’t want inside you, so I was understandably curious. I could think of only two creatures – birds and fish – that regularly eat worms, and since most people are neither of those things, it seemed odd to me that someone would be encouraging us to eat similarly.

Intrigued, I clicked on the link and read the article, expecting it to be a sort of how-to guide complete with hunting tactics and recipes. Read the rest of this entry →

26

04 2013

I’m With Stupid – February 22, 2013

SAVE YOUR TOENAIL CLIPPINGS TO SAVE AFRICAN RHINOS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallYears ago, at my high school, one particularly stupid kid was trying to score some marijuana. Another kid, this one utterly disgusting and duplicitous but rather enterprising, agreed to sell him some. The enterprising kid waited until the stupid kid forked over the money and then handed him a baggie filled with pubic hairs and dirty toenail clippings.

Don’t act appalled; I told you the kid was disgusting.

I can’t recall whether the stupid kid learned a valuable lesson or not — he actually was that dumb Read the rest of this entry →

22

02 2013

I’m With Stupid – March 2, 2012

INOCULATING OURSELVES AGAINST POINTLESS VACCINES
by Todd Hartley

OK, before we get started with this week’s column, I have a very important disclaimer: I am not a doctor – not even close. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, I’ve never even stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. I’m really just an idiot who spouts off about things each week because people allow me to. So keep in mind as you read this that I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about.

That being said, when I’m not pulling in money hand over fist as a humor columnist, I do a lot of medical writing for a children’s health website. Read the rest of this entry →

02

03 2012

I’m With Stupid – April 1, 2011

SOLVING THE PIZZLE OF CHINESE ANIMAL ATTITUDES
by Todd Hartley

My neighbor, who travels extensively for work, has a very odd sense of humor that I can only assume has remained unchanged since his sophomore year of high school. The way it manifests itself with regard to me is that when he returns from his forays to exotic locales he enjoys bringing me small gifts that have something to do with genitalia, or at least references to genitalia.

For example, once, following a trip to London, he brought me a can – unopened to this day – of something called spotted dick. Read the rest of this entry →

01

04 2011

The importance of doggedly taking your pills

OK, I know you’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: If you are on a prescription anti-depression medication, do not stop taking it. I can’t possibly stress this enough.

First of all, if you go off your meds, you could end up right back in the depressed state that prompted you to seek pharmaceutical help to begin with. This is so obvious it pains me to have to remind you of it, but I’m willing to suffer for your mental health.

More importantly, though, by ceasing to take your pills you could end up doing something of questionable judgment that you might ultimately regret. Read the rest of this entry →

18

06 2010


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