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Posts Tagged ‘NASA’

I’m With Stupid – April 28, 2017

NASA THINKS YOU CAN’T REMEMBER 6 YEARS AGO
by Todd Hartley

I don’t know if you guys pay attention to science news, but if you do, you might have noticed a headline a couple of weeks ago that went something like this: “NASA: Saturn’s moon Enceladus could support life.”

On April 13 and for the next few days, a variation of that headline ran as a lead story on virtually every big media website you can imagine. Do a Google news search for it and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The press treated it almost like NASA was declaring that it had found proof of alien life. It was big news. Read the rest of this entry →

28

04 2017

I’m With Stupid – October 14, 2016

MARS, THE BRINGER OF ASTRONOMICAL EXPENSES
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI don’t know if you noticed, but Mars is hot. I mean, Mars is still cold, obviously, but for some reason, the red planet is very much in vogue right now here on Earth. People are talking. Why, earlier this week, I was reading the so-called news on CNN.com and there, hidden among 8,000 articles on Donald Trump, there was a Mars-themed essay penned by none other than President Barack Obama himself.

In the essay, which was titled “America Will Take the Giant Leap to Mars,” Obama stated in no uncertain terms that he believes our space-exploration goal as a nation is “sending humans to Mars by the 2030s and returning them safely to Earth, with the ultimate ambition to one day remain there for an extended time.” Read the rest of this entry →

14

10 2016

I’m With Stupid – February 20, 2015

SCIENCE KNOWS THE TRUTH EVEN WHEN IT DOESN’T
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallIt’s been a slow week in the world of stupid — probably due to most of the country being so snowy and cold that folks couldn’t get outside and do their things — so this week, instead of stupid, we’re going to talk about the world of smart.

One of our favorite subjects here at “I’m With Stupid,” as some of you may recall, is astrophysics (by which we mean all of the astro-type sciences, except maybe astrology). That may sound odd coming from a guy who just last month devoted an entire column to adult diapers and poop, Read the rest of this entry →

20

02 2015

I’m With Stupid – January 24, 1014

WHY YOU SHOULD OPEN A KRISPY KREME ON MARS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallLast week, as you may recall, I used this space to pay homage to one of man’s finest culinary inventions: the doughnut. In short, I confessed to occasionally eating more of the delectable delights than I should and frequently going out of my way to procure free doughnuts whenever they’re offered.

But that was last week’s column, and I’m not here to talk about the past; I’m here to talk about the future, which I apparently predicted correctly last week. You see, just days after my column hit the streets, a doughnut made headlines around the world, Read the rest of this entry →

24

01 2014

I’m With Stupid – May 24, 2013

HIS BOY ELROY’S PIPING HOT PROTEIN-LAYER PIZZA
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallYou could call it life imitating “The Jetsons,” but I feel like other portrayals of the future have featured similar contraptions. Regardless, it appears the future is now, people. Science has finally caught up with Hanna-Barbera. We’re going to have food machines soon.

I’m not talking about vending machines with metal coils and tiny bags of potato chips that get caught and don’t fall, thus robbing you of a buck-fifty. We already have those. Read the rest of this entry →

24

05 2013

I’m With Stupid – August, 12, 2011

RUNNING OUT OF SPACE TO PUT ALL OUR JUNK
by Todd Hartley

Way to go, people. We’ve done it again. Give ourselves a hand!

We morons have gone and done something I would have sworn was impossible. We weren’t content to just pollute the land, sea and sky. Oh no, not us. We had to go and pollute Space!

Are you kidding me? Space is infinite, and yet we somehow produce so much crap that we’ve managed to pollute it? How is that possible, people? We’re not talking about Staten Island here. It’s Space, for Pete’s sake. It’s much bigger than Staten Island. Read the rest of this entry →

12

08 2011

Commencing countdown, engines on … or not

It’s been a big last few weeks for the venerable European Space Agency (ESA), the organization charged with advancing the cause of space travel throughout the continent. Currently, everyone who’s anyone in the European air and space industries is at the prestigious Paris Air Show, which runs through June 21, and just last month the ESA selected its latest crop of rookie astronaut candidates, including two Italians, a Frenchman, a German, a Dane and an Englishman, Tim Peake, who has been dubbed “Major Tim” by the excited U.K. press. Read the rest of this entry →

19

06 2009

Grandma’s favorite astro-nut

Have you heard the big news? Apparently, UFOs really do exist, and there’s a vast government conspiracy to bury the truth.

Oh, you say you’ve heard that one before, have you? Maybe, but you’ve never heard it from someone like Edgar Mitchell, who made headlines last week by asserting on a British radio program that the Roswell incident was real and that aliens have contacted humans several times. Read the rest of this entry →

01

08 2008


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