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Posts Tagged ‘oklahoma’

I’m With Stupid – April 22, 1016

ARBY’S ASSAULT A SIGN OF NO-BACON APOCALYPSE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallSo with the New York primaries over and the resounding victories for both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, it’s looking more and more as if that will be our choice for president: Trump or Clinton. Looked at in that light, I guess what happened in Oklahoma makes perfect sense. In fact, it almost seems inevitable.

But before I go any further, I want to take one last opportunity to implore you before it’s too late: Please, now, while there’s still time, nominate John Kasich and Bernie Sanders. The future of the human race depends on it.  Read the rest of this entry →

22

04 2016

I’m With Stupid – March 22, 2013

A HUMBLE ODE TO POULTRY-SAUTEED BEEF
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI don’t follow a lot of rules when it comes to eating. I know that’s hard for many of you to believe, given my chiseled abs and total lack of body fat, but it’s true. I have guidelines — mostly having to do with avoiding vegetables and similarly healthy foods — but as far as rules go, I pretty much have only one: If the name of a dish consists of three things I like, I’m going to order that dish.

Let me give you an example: chili cheese fries. Do you enjoy chili, cheese and fries? Chances are you’re going to love chili cheese fries. Read the rest of this entry →

22

03 2013

I’m With Stupid – February 15, 2013

JUST LIKE EMERIL, BUT WITH SUDAFED AND DRAIN CLEANER
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI have a college education and I value my dentition, so as you can probably guess, I’ve never done meth. I know to some people that may paint me as an elitist snob, but that’s my cross to bear, I suppose. I also used to count myself among the people who thought that only a colossal imbecile would use or make meth, but that’s no longer the case.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m still not sure what the point of meth is. To me, it just seems like a race to see if you can get your teeth to fall out of your head before your house explodes, Read the rest of this entry →

15

02 2013

You’re doing fine, Oklahoma

I’ve always sort of admired Oklahoma for having a realistic self-image. Whereas Kansas deludes itself with a slogan like, “Land of Ahhs,” Oklahoma has always been honest, telling us simply that “Oklahoma is OK.” Not great, not bad, but OK. I’ve never been to Oklahoma and have no immediate or long-term plans to rectify that situation, but I’m guessing that’s a fair appraisal of the Sooner State.

I have, however, been to Kansas, and as I drove for what seemed like thousands of miles through the flat, featureless wheat fields, I did not utter a single “ah” that wasn’t immediately followed by a vigorous “choo!” Kansas doesn’t exactly inspire that sort of enthusiasm. Read the rest of this entry →

01

05 2009


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