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Posts Tagged ‘penises’

I’m With Stupid – December 28, 2012

THE LONGER THE WEAPON, THE SHORTER THE TOOL
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallNow that we’ve finally decided we can actually have a conversation about gun control in this country, I think those of us who are in favor of tougher measures have to face one unavoidable truth: Trying to control guns now is a case of shutting the barn doors after the horse gets out.

Gun-rights advocates are quick to point out, correctly, that as of 2009 there were more than 310 million nonmilitary firearms in the United States. That works out to a rate of about one gun for every American citizen. Read the rest of this entry →

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12 2012

I’m With Stupid – August 3, 2012

YOU’RE NUTS IF YOU THINK YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
by Todd Hartley

It dawned on me the other day that it had been quite awhile since I wrote a column that had something to do with penises, or penii, to use the proper Latin conjugation. I consider that a disservice to my readers, in particular one brother-in-law, and I would like to apologize. I didn’t do it on purpose. It’s just that penii haven’t been in the news of late, and I’m not so obsessed with the subject that I make up excuses to write about them.

Fortunately, Bob can consider the drought ended this week Read the rest of this entry →

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08 2012

I’m With Stupid – April 22, 2011

THE UNASSAILABLE PHALLOGIC OF ICELANDIC PENII
by Todd Hartley

Here at I’m With Stupid, it’s sort of a running joke between us and our brother-in-law Bob that we routinely use this column to, um, make penis jokes. We kind of have to; if it weren’t for lowbrow humor, sometimes we wouldn’t have any. We’re from the school that says farts will always be funny, too.

Bob, you may remember, was the one who clued us in to the story of the Russian automaker that was going to upholster its car seats in whale penis leather until it had a change of heart. Read the rest of this entry →

22

04 2011

I’m With Stupid – April 1, 2011

SOLVING THE PIZZLE OF CHINESE ANIMAL ATTITUDES
by Todd Hartley

My neighbor, who travels extensively for work, has a very odd sense of humor that I can only assume has remained unchanged since his sophomore year of high school. The way it manifests itself with regard to me is that when he returns from his forays to exotic locales he enjoys bringing me small gifts that have something to do with genitalia, or at least references to genitalia.

For example, once, following a trip to London, he brought me a can – unopened to this day – of something called spotted dick. Read the rest of this entry →

01

04 2011


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