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Posts Tagged ‘pork’

I’m With Stupid – September 13, 2013

by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallEvery so often, in penning this column, I get to write words that I never thought I would see together in a sentence — words so incongruous that there exists virtually no possibility of their being associated. To me, those occasions constitute one of the great joys of the writing profession, and I like to recognize them when they occur.

Thus, it is with great fanfare that I get to write the following: Todd Hartley stayed at the Ritz-Carlton last weekend.

Ahoy polloi. Read the rest of this entry →


09 2013

Is that an eggplant in your pants?

I was reminded recently of an old friend of mine who once tried to steal a pork tenderloin from a grocery store in Aspen by stuffing it down his pants. He was nearly out the door when one of the store’s clerks tapped him on the shoulder to let him know he had dropped his hat. So nervous was my friend over his little crime spree that he immediately blurted out, “It’s in my pants!” despite the fact that he hadn’t been accused of anything.

I can just imagine the clerk’s surprise when this man he was only trying to help then reached down his jeans and pulled out the pilfered meat. It’s probably the sort of thing grocery store clerks don’t encounter too often, even in Aspen. Read the rest of this entry →


02 2009

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