I SENSE THAT YOU ARE NOT VERY BRIGHT
by Todd Hartley
Think about the fortuneteller in popular culture — the bandaged, bejeweled gypsy kind. Has there ever been an honest one? The only one I can remember is Whoopi Goldberg in “Ghost,” but that wasn’t until Patrick Swayze got into her and swayzed* her up and made her make out with Demi Moore.
Other than that, they’re all the same. They all seem to be named Madam Lazora for some reason, and they’re all either evil or they’re just liars, like the one who sent Pee Wee Herman off to find the basement of the Alamo. Read the rest of this entry →