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Posts Tagged ‘snowmass’

I’m With Stupid – July 25, 2014

SAVING ME FROM MY SUSPECT CYCLING SKILLS
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI want to take this opportunity to wish my mother, who turns a year older today, a very happy birthday, although I fear she won’t have one. You see, my poor mother just had surgery the other day on her shoulder, and pain is one of her least favorite feelings but most favorite conversation topics.

On that note, I’d also like to wish my poor father good luck. Pop, make sure to get Mom a birthday present that is way over the top, like morphine or maybe the cast of “Downton Abbey” to wait on her hand and foot as she recovers. Read the rest of this entry →

25

07 2014

I’m With Stupid – August 23, 2013

MAN VS. WAY MORE FOOD THAN HE CAN HANDLE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallI’ve always thought of myself as a pretty impressive glutton. Back in high school, when other kids were cruising through calculus and physics, I considered lunch my best subject. I couldn’t figure out a derivative if my life depended on it (and I just had to look that up to remember what the hell calculus was about), but I could inhale a ham-and-cheese sandwich, a bag of chips, an apple and four Oreos faster than anyone I knew.

Given that, it might come as a shock to some of you to learn that I’m not filthy rich. Read the rest of this entry →

23

08 2013

I’m With Stupid – June 21, 2013

NEWTON, SHMEWTON, JUST AS LONG AS IT’S FREE
by Todd Hartley

Todd Hartley-smallAlthough I haven’t done it in a few years, there was a time not so long ago that I would volunteer for the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen every June. I always seemed to end up working in the Grand Tasting Tent, a gig which many of my acquaintances thought was an icky endeavor, as it involved dumping out buckets of wine and spit in the evenings.

Admittedly, handling other people’s spit isn’t the most pleasant of activities, but by the time evening rolled around, the other volunteers and I were generally so drunk that we didn’t care. Read the rest of this entry →

21

06 2013

I’m With Stupid – December 7, 2012

A WHOLE NEW SHOW AT THE WESTIN SNOWMASS RESORT
by Todd Hartley

Years ago, when I first embarked on my career as a columnist, I made it my goal to be as corrupt and easily influenced by gifts, perks and other free swag as was humanly possible. I like to think I’ve stayed fast and true to that mission; I feel I’m every bit as corrupt today as I was a decade ago. It’s just that the perk bestowers on whom I depend have done a fairly wretched job of keeping up their end of the bargain.

In a way, I understand this. Though I can offer a modicum of free publicity, I’m guessing the sort of press one gets from a snarky, cynical humor column isn’t exactly the kind of promotion that appeals to most entities. Read the rest of this entry →

07

12 2012

I’m With Stupid – June 3, 2011

BURY MY HEART (BUT NOT THE REST OF ME) AT WOUNDED KNEE
by Todd Hartley

Here’s a word for you all to consider: taphephobia. That’s the fear of being buried alive. When you hear people talk about irrational fears, taphephobia is by no means one of them. Fearing spiders is irrational, at least until you get bit by a black widow. Fearing being buried alive is very, very rational. In fact, if that’s something you’re not afraid of, you’re kind of an idiot. Oh, you may be a brave idiot, but rest assured (as you will see) that you are an idiot nonetheless. Read the rest of this entry →

03

06 2011

I’m With Stupid – November 5, 2010

DIGGING UP AN OFFSEASON REASON FOR SNOWMASS
by Todd Hartley

If you live in the Roaring Fork Valley, by now you’re aware of the amazing discoveries being made practically on a daily basis in Snowmass Village, but for my other readers around the world, let me catch you up to speed.

You’ve heard of the La Brea Tar Pits, the place in Los Angeles where hundreds of fossils have been found, right? Well, now we’ve got something in Colorado just like it, except for all the tar and the hundreds of fossils. Read the rest of this entry →

05

11 2010

If you hear any noise, it was George singing

We here at I’m With Stupid have decided to do something a little different this week and indulge our inner critic, so we’re going to review a concert we saw recently: George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic at the annual Snowmass Chili Pepper and Brew Fest. We’re also going to drop the whole “we” thing at this point because, well, there is no we. It’s actually just me. I know you’re all shocked that one man could do so much by himself.

Anyway, back to P-Funk. You would be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of Parliament/Funkadelic than yours truly. I was splanked by the bop gun years ago, freeing my mind and behind from constipated notions. (That actually makes sense in P-Funk parlance. Look it up if you don’t understand.) Read the rest of this entry →

11

06 2010


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