THE DREAD AFFLICTION OF ELVES ON YOUR SHELVES
by Todd Hartley
I realize this is going to sound like the Grinchiest thing ever, but I cannot wait for the holiday season to finally end so I can be rid of the infernal Elf on the Shelf that first darkened our home last yuletide. His name is Fred, and the sooner he packs his bags and disappears for another spring, summer and fall, the happier I will be.
If you’re not familiar with elves on the shelves, they’re supposed to be plush dolls that you buy and then set somewhere in your house for your child to find. However, through my own stupidity, the elf we got, Fred, ended up being an unposable, hard-rubber elf that looks like it’s squatting on the toilet. Read the rest of this entry →